"Accepting yourself is the beginning of true happiness." When I heard this statement at a seminar when I was a teenager, I did not fully understand what the speaker wanted to say through these words. I understand the meaning of this sentence but I do not fully understand what I have to do to be able to accept myself. At that time, I was a teenager who was going through a difficult phase in my life.
I will not say at length about the phase that I experienced because this will be too long to tell, but I can say that this phase is a very difficult and sad phase. This phase may also be experienced by you and other people while still in the process of searching for identity. I hate myself so much because I am not confident about the features that I have. Apart from my physical features, I also cannot appreciate the talents that God has given me. I feel strange because I am different from other people and I feel this difference makes me feel alienated from the environment around me. I feel that I should not be different from others because if I don't, I will get bullied and I will be hated by others.
"Accepting yourself is the beginning of true happiness." When I heard this statement at a seminar when I was a teenager, I did not fully understand what the speaker wanted to say through these words. I understand the meaning of this sentence but I do not fully understand what I have to do to be able to accept myself. At that time, I was a teenager who was going through a difficult phase in my life.
I will not say at length about the phase that I experienced because this will be too long to tell, but I can say that this phase is a very difficult and sad phase. This phase may also be experienced by you and other people while still in the process of searching for identity. I hate myself so much because I am not confident about the features that I have. Apart from my physical features, I also cannot appreciate the talents that God has given me. I feel strange because I am different from other people and I feel this difference makes me feel alienated from the environment around me. I feel that I should not be different from others because if I don't, I will get bullied and I will be hated by others.
Finally I chose the option to hate myself and to ignore the talents God gave me.
However, after time and actually just a few months ago, after undergoing many processes of maturing myself, I began to be able to accept myself as I am. I began to see that people who used to mock me because I was insecure people and they thought that by mocking me, their lives would be better. I began to see that those who like to mock others (not only me, many people are also ridiculed by bully in my school first) often come from unhappy families. Their self-confidence also makes them join in with their friends who often provoke each other to stay away from people they consider lacking.
To be honest, there will not be happy people who will spend their time demeaning others so they can be happy. After learning these facts, I began to forgive them even though the actions they had made for me had caused me to experience a fairly prolonged depression. I used to think of ending my life because of this, because I felt useless and when I felt that I could not bear the pain caused by the oppressors' words and bad deeds. This made me lose my desire to live and worsen my relationship with my loved ones.
After the incident, I distance myself from everyone and I close my heart so that no one else can enter my life just to hurt me. I vent all my anger, all the feeling of disgust and all frustration to others so that they don't want to approach me. Indeed, finally nothing hurt me and I was free from heartache which could have been caused by someone else, but I felt an extraordinary loneliness.
What I did did not help me heal old wounds but instead I added new wounds that were more painful. It hurts to know that you can get all the happiness after being hurt in the past but you throw away that opportunity because you yourself sabotaged it.
Cr.https://www.hipwee.com/opini/kunci-kebahagiaan-menerima-diri-sendiri-apa-adanya/
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